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The new album is here! A New Type of Bummer is now available on Spotify, iTunes, Google Play Music, Apple Music, Band Camp, Soundcloud, Deezer, Tindr and Grindr. I may be jumping the gun about Tindr and Grindr. But I know you’d swipe right on my music if it was there. No matter what you’re orientation, it’s worth the casual sex.

My daughter did the cover art, and I paid her handsomely for it. It’s her first paying gig as a graphic artist (not bad for age 13)!

Big thanks to my brothers Merv and Rich for lending a hand with a track again. It wouldn’t be smalltime vault without them. Again, Merv didn’t know he was lending a hand because I just stole his drum tracks from an old Gadget demo of Shoop. But just because his performance was stolen doesn’t mean it wasn’t integral and appreciated.

And Rich’s vocals on an old sorta’ Einstein song were very much appreciated, because no substitute would ever do. He’s the sugar, and everyone else is just fucking Splenda.

I’ve thrown a few YouTube lyrics videos together as well, posted below.

New album is almost available! It’s on Bandcamp and on the website media player at this point, with more digital streaming options to come.

In that this one took two and a half years to finish, it feels more like a chapter in my life than an album. Thanks to Merv and Rich for lending tracks, and to Tim for graciously letting me re-record a song that he wrote for us a while back.

And a special thanks to my daughter Vala for the graphic design. This was the easiest album cover I’ve dealt with since I was a punk rocker and we just did it all with sharpies and copiers.

Now I’m going to take a little time off to get this album uploaded at all the right angles, and to tear apart my home studio. It’s time to truly finish “Semi-finished Studio”… and then apparently find a more up-to-date and accurate name. But I’ve got a new drum kit, a new studio computer, and some new recording equipment just waiting to get set up and put to good use.

St. Patrick’s Day Update!!

That’s not to say that the update is specific to St. Patrick’s Day. There have been no significant  changes to St. Patrick’s Day for centuries, I believe. We still just wear green and get damn hammered because of… Irish snakes.

I’ll start again…

Album Update On This Day, Which Also Happens To Be St. Patrick’s Day!!

It’s still not done! But… it is getting closer. Nothing left but a few lead vocals and some harmony, before re-amping and mixing. But this one song is giving me trouble in terms of buttoning up the lyrics. If anyone wants to suggest a good rhyme to “flop lifelessly” or “off a fucking bridge”, please contact my offices during regular business hours.

What’s taking so long this past year, you may ask? I don’t know. I went to Sweden, so that was one week. My dog has face cancer. I watched a lot of Voltron. I guess that about covers it.

I kind of have a player up on the website now, so feel free to click around there. And I’ve signed up for bandcamp, so feel free to poke that joint up too. The link is at the waaaaaay bottom of this site.

Well, Voltron is on again. See you next year, I guess.

 

I started recording a new album last July. At this point I’m about 70% done recording tracks. Drums and bass are recorded. Most rhythm guitar is done. A few vocals and keyboard tracks are also done.

This album is a real bummer, lyrically. I didn’t mean to collect all the reasons to empty your wrists and flop lifelessly off a fucking bridge. It just kind of happened that way when I was balancing out the tempo and feel of my old songs with my newly written songs.

I may have just accidentally named this album right there though. “smalltime vault- Empty Your Wrists and Flop Lifelessly Off a Fucking Bridge”. It has a nice ring to it.

The album has an updated old Einstein song, and an updated an old One Year Later song. One Year Later was the band that Einstein became briefly after breaking up and trying to get back together. So, there are sort of two Einstein songs on this album.

Progress has been steady but slow. The only real hurdle is my lack of availability, since a lot of my precious spare time has gone into finishing my basement- the half of my basement where I don’t record music. I’m hoping that I’ll finish this album right when it’s time to start finishing the studio-side of the basement. I’m assuming that my production value will sky-rocket once I’m tracking in space with sheet-rock and a dropped ceiling. Every smalltime vault album up until now has been tracked knee-deep in concrete dust and spiders.

I’ve also started updating the old website, in the meantime. It’ll be a work-in-progress for a while, as I figure out WordPress.

“Onslaught of content” my ass!

So, my trend of starting more than I finish continues.

I did start a very ambitious “oldies” project. See, I grew up listening to oldies, even though I’m not quite old enough to get away with saying that. But we only had three radio stations in my house. Jammin’ 94.5 (top 40’s and current R&B hits), 107.3 WAAF (butt rock), and Oldies 103.3. And Oldies 103.3 was my favorite.

So I spent my childhood with a radio in front of a mirror. I’d listen and I’d lip-sync. I’d sit there waiting for Elvis, Beatles, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly… I loved all the early rock and roll stars, even though I was born in 1977. I guess since my hometown was so far from radio towers that it backed my childhood up by 20 years or so.

All this background lead me to want to write an album of my own “new oldies”. Started writing. Got an old family piano delivered to my home. Scored an old upright bass. Things were looking good. Here comes the new oldies, right?

Wrong. The old piano needed repair. And it turns out that I’m no good at piano repair. And then it also turns out that the upright bass is really hard to play, even if you know how to play bass. Who knew? They should put a warning on those things. So this project stalled, and things just petered out.

A few months later I decided to shelf this new oldies idea until I had a workable piano and a little more expertise with that upright bass.

So I’ve started working on a new project- that’s just a bit more in my wheelhouse. It’s like a sequel to my first album, but a little more refined with the production. When in doubt- indie rock with stabs into sub-genres.

So wish me luck, as I abandon the ambitious and stick to what I know- indie rock and recycling Merv’s drum tracks.

 

I haven’t updated anything here for a year! I finished recording and mixing the punk rock album, and stalled when it came to the graphic arts part. I hate that part. It was so much easier when I was making punk rock demos. Back then you could just take a few picture of some Marshmallow Peeps, pictures of Nazis, add some black magic marker profanity and take it all to a copier. 5 cents a copy later and you were done in 20 minutes. Ah, the golden age of graphic arts!

But, I’m moving forward again, reaching out to friends more capable than I, in this new graphic arts world.

In other news, apparently this stupid website has stopped working. Troubleshooting Joomla link issues is not my bag. If there was a bag of dicks, then that wouldn’t be my bag either. But, I’d have a tough time deciding which bag is mine if I had to choose between the bag of dicks or the bag of Joomla troubleshooting. Both bags are equally bad for me. Zero stars. Would not recommend either bag. 

So, for now this website is just a blog. New website design is in the works, again because I’m reaching out to friends who can do a billion times better than I ever did with it.

In the meantime, I’ve been writing a lot of varied stuff- everything between sleepy acoustic stuff, rockabilly, electronica, and more punk rock. I think my next release might be about as far off the map as a project can get. I’ve started far more than I’ve finished, though. But I’m suddenly invigorated with the thought of finishing the artwork for the punk album and having a new website.

So, maybe brace yourselves for an onslaught of content?

 So, this punk album took a lot longer than I’d expected!

Mostly because I didn’t expect to waste so much stupid time reading the Game of Thrones series. That shit is WICKED LONG. And then the summer happened, with lots of camping and weekend trips, and tons of date nights because grandparents keep taking my kids overnight. So, I’m having a blast. But it’s slowed progress down to a drunken, one-eye-open, down-the-stairs crawl.

But I’m just finishing up some last minute mixing. And then it’s finished! The project is named “A Fury Beneath the Love”. I chose that because it’s furious music that was crafted in the basement of my home, beneath the feet of the family that I love so much.

I also love Rich and Merv, who lent their rarely-tapped punk rock skills to a few of these tracks. Thanks, brothers.

I think I can say that I’m about halfway done with the new punk rock full-length. Drums, rhythm guitar, and half of the bass have all been tracked.

This album is straight up punk rock- my comfort-zone. I hope to finish the bass in the next few days. The lead guitar shouldn’t take me more than a few weeks. Then comes the vocals- which are about 75% written.

So far, I’m very happy with how it’s turning out- equal parts furious and melodic. I’ve got Crazy Merv’s drums featured on one track, and I’m pretty excited about it. It sounds like an old Einstein song. Also, there’s an actual old Einstein song that’s been updated for this project. Rich has agreed to add some old-school Dick Heeb vocals for a few tracks as well. I get by with a little help from my drunks.

The Snakepants and Rocco project is done!

Right now, I’m not really sure what the fate of ‘9 Parts Cat’s Asshole’ is. I’ve added “Beg For It” to the playlist on this official website, until SnR has established it’s own web presence (if it ever does). But if you are into duck-call-sodomy-songs, then this song is probably… well.. it’s whatever the equivalent of “up your alley” is when you can’t say “up your alley” because of the sodomy pun. So… enjoy!

Since then, I have started tracking drums for my triumphant return to punk rock. I started yesterday, in fact. But then I quit after 20 fucking minutes. Punk rock drums are hard. HARD!! I was all tired and sweaty. I briefly considered just playing more ukulele cover songs instead.

But I’m back at it. Punk rock project in progress. My goal is to produce the punk rock demo that I would have played (in cassette form) over and over when I was 17 years old. Almost half of the songs are old and being revisited. The other half are half-written ideas. So stay tuned, folks.

I’ve been working hard on a 9 song Snakepants and Rocco project with my best friend Tim Skrewed of Bedpan Fight. It’s called “9 Parts Cat’s Asshole”, named for our description of Black Velvet. Real high-brow stuff. These are Tim’s songs, and they are straight-up catchy pop-punk anthems. It’s about 83% done at this point, with nothing but a few guitar parts and a bunch of harmonies to track. I hope to have it done in April.

Then after that I’m going to dust off my own mohawk* and work on smalltime vault’s return to punk rock roots. There will be a few old punk songs. There will be a few new punk songs. There may even be an old Einstein song or two.

* figuratively speaking, as I’ve never actually had a mohawk. But I did go to court for vandalism defaming the elderly. That’s more punk than a mohawk, right?